Potato & Tomato

29th Mar 09, Sunday

2009-03-29T14:25:00.003+08:00

It's Our Last Goodnight
You Still Dont Know Im Leaving
It's Our Last Goodnight
You're Asleep And Dreaming
And You Wont Know
That I Mean Well
And It's Tearing Me Apart
It's Our Last Goodnight
Tomorrow I'll Be Leaving Before Dawn...

18th Mar 09, Wednesday

2009-03-27T21:37:00.003+08:00

went out to study...
haix...
till now, i've not sms ke ai yet...
kept thinking if i should...
and kept checking my phone if she did...
why am i doing such things...
sigh...
evening she smsed me if i was okay...
but i didnt know what or how to tell her...
so many things running through my mind...
so many things that i cant say...
it's smothering me...
i dont want to make her sad...
could she understand...
argh...

17th Mar 09, Tuesday

2009-03-27T02:12:00.004+08:00

went down to study at arif's house
near tampinese mart if that's what it's called
studied, slacked and played soccer with some young chaps
5 of my friends, including me, vs 8 of them...
wth??
played barefooted
and got my feet injured...
my hand got a cut...
and my ass bruised when i was doing my amazing high foot skill
and one kid knock into me...
the next second...i was lying on the floor
zzz...ass hurts so much
smsed ke ai...
then she started to talk about bi...
sigh..
for some reason, it affected me alot
practially my friends could see the change in my mood and facial expression...
zzz...
smoked quite alot...
and felt like being alone...
so i told ke ai that i wanted to be alone...

16th Mar 09, Monday - Exam Results

2009-03-27T02:00:00.002+08:00

damn...
got my exam results today
through the school's website
totally disappointed
haix...
failed two subjects...
edev and emaths2
wtf la...
depressed...

7th - 10th Mar 09, Saturday - Off To Thailand

2009-03-25T00:06:00.005+08:00

[7th]Flight's in the morning...at 10+am on
a SIA Boeing 777-200ER aircraft
woots hahas! i know >.<
can bare to leave...especially my ke ai...
haix...
off to the airport at 8am
everything's packed and done...
checked in our bags
and hang out with dad and grandmom for awhile more
9+am, entered the departure area...
said goodbye to dad and grandmom...
when scanning our hand-held bags...
for some reason...i turned and took a glance at the outside crowd...
hoping to see a familiar face...which would never appear there...
at that point of time...i really wanted to see her...
but that's impossible...
rushed to the plane...and smsed ke ai...
and off the plane took off...
touch down in thailand at 12pm+
took private cab to the hotel - holiday inn salom
checked in, changed our clothes and off we go to the shopping mall
first mall to crash was MBK mall :)
ate KFC for lunch...uber cheap...
got a chiobu keep looking at me =.=" wth?
lameeeee...
ate and went upstairs to start hunting for stuffs
ahahahaha
shop till around 8-9pm
damn tired...havent sat down yet...
bought, jacket, shirt, specs, a pants, presents for joyce, weiting and goel
:D wahaha
went back to the hotel by public cab. mom and sis pang seh me when i was bathing...pff
they went to the streets to walk...so me chill in the hotel, eat cup noodles for dinner and watch tv
and smsed ke ai...
they came back and got invited to watch some sex and stripping show...LOLS
but they didnt got, just got pestered by some unknown dude.
haha, heng i didnt go :D
[8th]Woke up at around 9+am
cab down to the flea market
woah super big sia...
and the weather was f***ing hot...
made some wood thingy for our house..
bought some shirt, a pants and ke ai a bag :D
woots
cab back to MBK...
had chineseeeee fooood for lunch at a restaurant
shop again...bought shirts, converse hi-cut white leather shoe!! and got a haircut there...LOLS...
wanted to get some jeans but i was way to skinny to even fit into their smallest size Pff...
bought chicken fried rice back to the hotel to eat lols...took the toot toot cab! lols...so dangerous...
slacked, watched tv, smsed ke ai...
[9th]woke up around 10+am
cabbed down to paragon...
ate vietnum noodles
bought hankies LOL dunno why i buy them...when i dont use HAHA
bought ke ai panda cookies haha
didnt really buy anything from paragon cause it's a high-end place
and everything is genuine slightly cheaper than singapore only...
ate chicken rice too, and there were super alot of sissys holy shit...
i hope they were not attracted to me...eek...
walked to siam square, bought a bag, 5 t-shirts and a belt and 1 panda t-shirt for ke ai :)
then walked to MBK again hahas...bought another pants, t-shirts and a wallet for ke ai
hopefully she likes them all...
bought chicken fried rice and ate in the hotel by cab again haha!
smsed ke ai...slacked and watched tv
[10th]woke up at around 7+am...changed and packed our lugguage
checked out and took public cab to the airport...
airport service sucks like hell...
money changer also super far...
checked in our lugguage after doing the tax rebate thingy
walked around...had sandwiches...
and back to singapore...

~ it seems like everything i do...i kept thinking of you...i dunno why...although i thought this trip could make me stop thinking of you for awhile...i guess...it didnt...so afraid what i bought for you, you would not like them...that gave me a hard time choosing what to buy...and my mom thought you were my girlfriend......this trip made me listen a song...

There's so many reasons that I find to run to you
Cause there's so little loving in my life now I'm away
And thinking about it, I want things how they should be
Cause there's no way around it, nothing good comes easily
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
So I keep on waiting till I'm where I belong
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard it all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day
So many feelings emotions running away with me
Cause it's you I believe in and my love that runs so deep
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong
Now I keep on waiting till I'm where I feel I belong
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away
Are you finding it hard all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one with the love that I need
And I miss you more each day

6th Mar 09, Friday

2009-03-13T15:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday ke ai fell sick :(
haix...hope she get well soon...
if only it was me who fell sick instead of her...
anyways...today, ke ai's alone at home
bought food for her.
sick liao still wanna eat maggie D:
cabbed down and bought food
slacked with her for awhile
cause she had tuition later in the evening
after that...trained down to simei to meet my friends
played tai di, win all the way lols
they all pek cek.
then ate dinner and simei east point had some event
about some chinese singer so super crowded.
alot of girls though O.O
bused home after eating then played dota till around 4am
tomorrow got to leave to Thailand liao...haix...left 4 hours to sleep... D:
plane's leaving at 10am+ tomorrow...
cant bare to leave ke ai...haix

4th Mar 09, Wednesday

2009-03-13T14:59:00.002+08:00

Went out with joyce and weiting at 3pm...
took train to changi airport.
went to popeye's and ate
for like 2hours? i think
talk alot of stuffs...
then went to see planes lols
at T3 and T2.
mom bought tickets to thailand already...
2 more days i'll be back here again
but this time leaving on the plane.
sigh. feels so weird
not even sure if im looking forward to it or not...
feels so wrong...after that...went to EHub for dinner
at pastamania at downtown east.
so boring...wanted to go bowling but it was pack...
so cabbed home after that...
everything feels so wrong...
was hoping this short holiday could stop me from thinking of her.
but somehow...the feeling inside feels so miserable...
maybe this is a test for me...
but im very sure...i'll miss her alot...

3rd Mar 09, Tuesday

2009-03-11T13:26:00.004+08:00

felt like im not myself lately...
haix...it seems like my wish will never come true
my life's a fairytale faded black.
havent been talking to ke ai much these few days
i seemed to be loss for words
if only she knew what's on my mind
she feels alone...haix
maybe i meant nothing...
maybe i was just a ghost...
after all the things done...perhaps it was for nothing...
how much it hurts...to hear something like that...
now that he's back, things are gonna change...
maybe it was time i go.
night feels so much longer...
sleepless nights everyday...
just went to bnet to accompany my friend...
till 6am everyday...
you said...you didnt want me to hide anything from you...
but i've hidden words that was meant for you
whatever it is...i wish you knew...

28th Feb 09, Saturday

2009-03-11T12:41:00.002+08:00

Went out at night for dinner with jason and gzerrel
at simpang. slacked and ate...
8plus pm. jason pulled me along to go clubbing
rained super heavily when walking to the train station
all wet... took a bus to the train station instead
smsed ke ai.
glad to hear she's fine.
took cab from tanah merah station to st james powerhouse.
travelling journey, jason talked to me about relationships.
hmm... i wish i could be like him. doing what he said so easily
getting almost all the girls he wanted.
but im not like that...
maybe it's too late...
appreciate those advices you gave me bro...
some things are easier said than done...
some things just doesnt go the way you want it to
reached st james. it was still raining.
taxi driver let us off outside...
so walked in in the rain...
went in for free. there was free-flow of alcohol till 11pm
dunno why...today feel so shitty.
just wanted to get drunk...
choing 4-5 cups of alcohol. cranberry vodka.
but still so sober...
didnt wanna go club actually...
jason entertained his friends...so me just sit there sms ke ai.
3 girls at around 4 guys.
the girls said i was so anti-social
haix. what you expect me to say =.="
dots...
just talked alittle.
smoked like 6-8 sticks cause of that twit jason...
dunno how many smoking breaks he wants
pff...i was not suppose to smoke you ass!
played drinking game awhile then went to the dance floor
somehow...i didnt felt like dancing or doing anything
just lean against the wall and watched them.
grinding here and there.
haix...wished ke ai was here with me...
okay, wake up man that aint gonna happen.
then just move here and there. so many people as time flies
so cramp, had to squeeze through the crowd.
got grinded by jason's friend who's a girl. WTF...
zzz...cant move back...got a stupid wall. cant move side
got people...cant move front...she's like THERE!.
zzz...adjusted myself to minimized physical contact.
moved away from them, went to another side.
got grinded by another 20+ girl wtf...
wanna dance then dance la...wah lau
already feeling so sad le...wanna kajiao me.
stand there do nothing also cannot.
jason and his friends kept asking me to dance pff...
then a song played. reminded me of xingan.
cause she put the same song in her blog before
argh, fuck that shit. of all the songs, play that
smoked. felt like going home. was like 3am + already
got caught between one of jason's girl friend and jason
pff...argue then argue la...pull me in for what...
jason and his bro wanna pang seh her lol...
and she grab my hand...so im stuck there...
and they had to turn back to save me =.="
being a nice and neutral guy is so hard...
cabbed home...sms ke ai...haix...bathed and slept...

27th Feb 09, Friday

2009-03-06T22:19:00.005+08:00

me hungry!!! where's me foooooood...=(

holiday le...today gonna meet ke ai after she finish school
then dad extra in the morning
ask me go out eat lunch...
haix...
went to vivo for lunch
walked around awhile
then ke ai say dont feel like coming out le...
zzz...
then she had problems with her computer
after a while...aiya, i go pei her bah...
then called jeremy...cause he was at sentosa
ask him if he wanna share cig
cause i dont want ke ai smoke so much
i want her to quit...
but...i doubt she will...haix
slack awhile
and jeremy held me back
that twit say he gonna meet me straight away
in the end delay delay delay
make me make ke ai wait =(
TWIT!
in the train shoot him until he was hoping for the train
to reach the station ASAP LOLS.
then went back home...online and dota-ed
[26th Feb]you said...you like me to know everything
and that im the first to always pop out from your head.
appreciate it alots...somehow that made me happy...
for some reason...but that happiness couldnt last
after what happened...haix

23rd - 26th Feb 09, EXAM!!!

2009-03-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

Damn...exam exam exam and....more....EXAMS!
zzz
everyday from monday till thursday
go school nearby de macdonald's at around 9am?
eat and study until around 12-1pm plus
then go school and slack lols
talk cock wait for paper to start
go in start then do paper for one hour then leave LOLS
all four papers only use 1 hours =p
ahaha
then after that message ke ai whole day bah
then go home...and it repeats for all for days
sian sia! like routine like that...zzzz
got some paper dunno if can make it anot
hope i dont need take sub-paper T.T

22nd Feb 09, Sunday

2009-02-25T17:18:00.009+08:00

Mom & Dad bought a new puppy
her name's cookie and she's a few months old
she's a cairn terrier but i thought she was a norfolk terrier...zzz
lols...seriously she looks more like a norfolk terrier =x
went down to vivocity to meet ke ai
due to some unknown reason
i was amazed too
ke ai wanted to eat LJS so we went.
after that went to 7 eleven to buy cig and lighter
went up to the open plaza but couldnt smoke there
so went outside the building
and i accompanied ke ai while she smoke
1st stick then lighter spoilt
so walked another round to one provision shop to buy
this time...i learned to test first
while walking we talked...
then ke ai smoked another stick again.
then trained down to hougang to find her friend
slacked at the void deck then they smoked
then someway...somehow...
ke ai psycho me to smoke...
i took 2 sticks...
then her lame friend down there entertaining
so i just stare at blank space
lols...but i did listen at the same time
naku and jeff came down after that
then that lame dude went home
i sent ke ai back home then find naku and jeff
ate zi char for dinner
service was so freaking slow.
then slacked awhile...
went to mac and ate ice cream
then i went home.
in the bus along marine parade
got 3 indians had problem with the china bus driver
then dunno what happened, lazy to elaborate...
the driver went on strike, dont wanna drive
driver was rude. one sec sch dude got involved
then bus inspector came and made everyone stay in the bus
until police came.
then escort me out of the bus into another bus :D
wahahaha
then i went home.
the rest of them...err...too bad
naku's theory...
1. if a girl wants to feel secure, she'll go for ah bengs
2. if a girl wants everything, she'll go for rich guys
3. if a girl wants to showoff, she'll go for handsome guys
4. if a girl wants the feeling, she'll go for the heart

is this true?
no idea...

20th & 21st Feb 09

2009-02-25T17:09:00.002+08:00

Met up with gzerrel at for both days and jason on saturday.
went out. slack. chill. play. shop.
nothing much.
girls makeup is getting thicker by day.
lazy to elaorate...

19th Feb 09, Thursday

2009-02-23T01:03:00.003+08:00

Libra

The Bottom Line

Reach out to a sad or depressed friend today -- put a smile back on their face.

In Detail

Reach out to a sad or depressed friend today -- they need some help getting a smile back on their face, and you make it easy. Spend some time with them out exploring the world. Show them some of the new places and activities that excite you. They may not feel like coming out right away, but if you turn on the charm and convince them of all the fun the two of you will have, they'll change their mind. You know how to show someone a good time better than most.

have i lost what i once could do? am i trying too hard or am i not trying hard enough? how come this time it seems so much more difficult to do? in times like this...i hate myself...

18th Feb 09, Wednesday

2009-02-23T00:57:00.002+08:00

evening, gzerrel booked out
called me to meet him in town lols
cause he wanted to buy some stuffs
ok lor, took bus down to city hall
gzerrel bought a card.
simple but yet nice
lols
i choose one :D
after that saw a cool ice cream shop
woo
so we planned to try and see how's the ice cream
not bad siol
next time can bring people go eat =x
ahahahaha
walked around in suntec and then ate subway
after that...talk talk talk
and bused home
talk about life and family
how we missed the good old days
haix......

17th Feb 09, Tuesday

2009-02-23T00:44:00.002+08:00

Went down to sengkang to meet ke ai.
she's feeling down again...
after helping her buy her cigs
ran into a bunch of secondary school kids
seeing me holding to a pack of cigs
so they asked if i could help them buy
see them so ke lian waiting for some kind soul
to help them buy. so i helped them
thank god they didnt asked me if i enough age
confirm i'll just point them my middle finger
and ask them to fuck off.
bought ke ai her plain mac-chicken meal
with cheese and coke-light.
then went to her house void deck and slack
naku came down then we talked
wah...talk for quite long siol...
4-5 hours i suppose? lols
ke ai's step ah beng bikers say i look like pai kia!
ka ni na...wth sia...=.="
spoil my reputation lols ahahahaha =x
slack there sibei jiaobin la
talk so many crap
then prank called furball a few other suay kias
just to disturb them.
then ke ai went home.
me and naku go find ah boon
lols funny guy. first time meeting him.
slack at void deck awhile till 7pm
cause he's car is red-plate lols
drove nearby to eat zi char
super funny la this guy
talk alot of stuffs
then drove to ang mo kio mac and slack
after that ah boon drive until dunno where
so i had to find a way back
went back hougang to buy ke ai her top-up card lols
after that ah boon sent me home
scary being in his car
especially when the driver is not sure of the direction!
ah boon said ke ai look like ah lian lols
aiyo...=(

16th Feb 09, Monday

2009-02-19T22:04:00.005+08:00

bused down to hougang to study with naku and jeff...
rained heavily when i was there
met naku and then we saw a gang gathering
seems like there's gonna be a gang fight...
why? because of 2 or 3 girls...dots
so...the problem is the girls...
instead of the girls solving the problem within themselves
the ones "solving" it are the guys who are not involved
which then called people to come down
dots...
walked to hougang point and ate kfc
then slacked for an hour or two.
then change slacking venue to another void deck
it's really weird that every indian dude which walked pass us
would always look at my friend
wth? gay or what?
he's indian too man, he's one of youuuuu =x
ahahaha
no offence blackie, if you happen to read this
oops =x
was i racist or what?
no man!
i was just being colour-ist =x
is there such a word...hmm
yup! in travis's world, so get use to it
unless you're from the opposite village
wanna give it a shot and guess what's the name for it?
well since you're already guessing means you're from that village
so i might as well just give you the answer
cause you'll never guess it right =x
it's called hmm, let's see...
DUMBASS VILLAGE
ahaha dumbass! =x
oh yar, where was i...
ahhh, then jeff came down while me and naku
were talking about gangs, family and some other stuffs lols
then went to eat dinner at jalan kayu not kaya k?
lols ate 2 pieces of chewy cheese prata
obviously it aint good, makes your jaws sore and tired!!
stupid ah neh =x
ahaha
it's not a bad word, it means big brother in indian xD
whole day, i was disturbing people with the malay's favourite quote
when you ask them an obvious question
they'll reply "uh uh sia..."
ahahaha so damn funny...
after eating bused back to hougang avenue 2 or something
slacked AGAIN at the void deck lols
i spoiled a TOKAI LIGHTER!!! ahahaha
=x supposingly good, but i guess not...
11pm went opposite's mac and study
study, drink and chat lols
so stupid and funny
prank called some friends at around 2+ or 3+ am
lols one was us pretending to be ah guas looking for dudes to give "services"
ooops =x my friend was so scared he wanted to refer "us" to the police lols
twit!!! xD
at mac making a hell lot of noise
shooting each other
this part is rated M18 =x
then naku "cum-ed" wth? at mac sia...
and he was stirring it lols
actually it was his cappuccino lols
but we made it sounds so gross and dirty lols
he said he was churning it into foam LOLS!!
ahaha asshole =x
after that we ate cup noodles at 4am+ from 7 eleven
lols how stupid
sort of msg stella till quite late
haix always sleep so late...
then walked to the bus stop at almost 6am
and bused home
first bus and yet so pack
sians...1hour+ bus ride home
went home bathed, used com awhile,
msged ke ai and stella then went to sleep :D

15th Feb 09, Sunday

2009-02-19T20:47:00.004+08:00

Early morning went to "church" with gzerrel and daniel
he want me to accompany him lols
not that im christian...im just a free thinker nia
now i know church in what way was boring
from 9am - 11am damn...
so tiring
after that
ate at white sand's swensens for lunch
then trained down to city hall
gzerrel bought some guitar stickers
and an amp for his guitar.
lols
went simpang to slack and ate
zi cha for dinner lols
only 3 of us...
everyone looking at us like as if we cant afford...
bloody hell...
then went to gzerrel house to slack
played some songs and watched south park lols
*yawns*
days are so boring...

13th Feb 09, Friday

2009-02-14T13:18:00.003+08:00

Today last day of school
before our study week starts
school started at 8am
so boring...
tried to complete stupid mini project
but in the end couldnt work
so heck care just passed up...
ke ai wanted to meet me...
thought what siol...
after school at 10am, went eat with friends
then go home...
used com awhile then wanted to sleep LOL
then ke ai asked me meet her at hougang mall
wahhh...no direct bus...
on the way down ke ai got to go vivocity
so i got off the bus and changed to another bus
heng ar...if pass that bus stop...i think i would have taken a longer time to reach.
walk around at vivo then friend called...
sian...serious business again
met ke ai then she passed me a present wor
lols
=( me no present to give...haix...feel so bad
why the sudden surprise? lols
talk awhile then she go dunno where...
so me nothing to do, go watch movie alone LOLS
so long didnt go out alone le
felt like sleeping when i was inside sia...
seat so nice, so dark and cold
shiok only =x
lols
half-way just zhao home first
didnt expect ke ai like wanna meet me again when i was on the train le...
sorry...=(
sounds so troubled...
slept awhile
then took dinner and take a look at the present
and the letter also
lols...sorry ar ke ai =( me bo jio you go out...
so sweet =x
ended the letter with..."stupid travis" =.="
wth? lols
thx for the present and letter =)
appreciate it
first ever valentine's day present
AHAHAHA
dont spend too much money la ke ai.
save money... xD
chat with ke ai online at night
and smsed with stella too :D

7th Feb 08, Saturday

2009-02-08T04:42:00.003+08:00

Went to school at 11am to study for psycho test
but ended up talking and eating lols
so didnt study at all...
test started at 1pm
duration was an hour only
quite a number of question recognise me but i dont recognise them
went out with daniel and gzerrel at 3pm
met gzerrel at far eat plaza
walked around for awhile
then walked to cine to watch movie
underworld: rise of the lycans
not a bad show to watch, kindda cool
daniel's like only 17 years old but he passed through IC screening wow...
the show was like rated as M-18.
after that stayed in town till late
then took cab to simpang to meet jason
cause he wanted to talk about some issues
this was the day i saw and realise
how much damage love could do to a person
i know it too well...

4th Feb 08, Wednesday

2009-02-04T22:50:00.005+08:00

Today only had 3 hours of school
the rest of the lessons, we skipped it lols...
morning went to kopitiam and eat breakfast
disturbed naku over the phone cause he was hoping to pon school today
lols...
had an hour of revision class
naku came down to school
then had 3 hours break, how cool is that? =x
took lwin's car to TM.
for the first time naku gave up his front passenger seat to our friendly smurf friend isaac
lols
while me, naku, jeff and jeremy squeeze at the back.
as what naku always is, not a nice guy
hahas
he disturbed isaac lols
"massage" him, pull his hair, adjust his seat. kajiao his seat belt, etc etc etc
lols
isaac super pek cek, but cant do shit about it.
im only a bystander =p
neutral party LOLS
they wind down the windows except mine, cause i dont smoke :D
ever thought of trying but... many people would kill me if i did lols
everyone became hyper
isaac was so pek cek he got to create a commotion lols
so...here's the funny & embarressing part...
HE PUT HIS HANDS OUT OF THE WINDOW, WAVING AT PASSERBYS
AND SHOUTED "HELP, HELP, HELLPPP !!" WTF
lols
should have taken a video of it LOLS
freaking throw face sia...lols
got one ah pek even stood and look at us for a period of time
while that bloody smurf continued to wave and shout "help!"
at him lols, he actually thought we kidnapped him WTH?
thank god he didnt called the police lols
seriously i wouldnt know where to hide my face if that happens.
he actually did that to most passerbys he saw
including those waiting at the bus stops...
lmao...
crashed the arcade for awhile, played MT3DX lols
some car racing game =p
and it started raining.
went back school for psychology classes.
then got home around 5pm.
slept for awhile
online and talked to ke ai and some friends
took dinner and went back to chatting.
here's where i realised i've lost a close friend...
actually...i already felt that quite a while ago, it's like we aint as close anymore
it seems like i aint one whom she'll turn to when something crops up.
dont wanna force for answers also.
pointless...
reading the conversation history and compare with what we have now
totally different...
it's become more like an question and answer session.
most relationships takes two hands to clap
is time doing what it has always been doing
taking back everything i thought i had
messaging stella xD
is caring for a person good or bad...?
to what extend or how much is considered bad?
haix...
is there an answer for that?

26th & 27th Jan 08, CNY

2009-02-03T00:42:00.003+08:00

26th - wake up early...
set up all stuffs all the way till evening
relatives came over and so collect ang baos
lols
chilled out and mingle around with all the relatives
talk craps and make little kids lost with our bombastic words =x
ahahahaha
27th - 2nd day of CNY. awaited for our buffet to arrive
relatives came, mom's friends as well.
my new cousins came over too.
mingle around talking about school & life. lols
so many people came over...
kids seems so attracted to me...haix
why?
something's wrong somewhere
ordered KFC cause we were afraid not enough food lols
bombard my aunt whom we meet only once a year
ahahaha oops =x
why does everyone asks me to join some entertaining or drama thingy...
yea, it's super interesting but...im not too sure about it lols.
jason, joyce and goel came over
talked alot of crap
goel stayed for dinner lols
crapped whole night =x
counted ang baos
woo i got around 16 ang baos if im not wrong lols
but the cash was...sweeeeeeeet =p
ahahaha
xD
would be much better if it wasnt for this year's economy crisis !

25th Jan 08, Sunday

2009-02-03T00:38:00.002+08:00

Early morning
went to mom's grandparents place to have lunch
and for visiting
despite their age, they're still entertaining
mingle around...
collect ang baos
then went home cause relatives coming over
had reunion dinner at home.

24th Jan 08, Saturday

2009-01-29T21:26:00.003+08:00

Went out with my biological mom at 3pm.
met her at bugis...
walked around...
watch movie called inkheart
then went to swensens to eat...
food standard dropped so much...
service also sucked...
talked to mom while eating
about so many things...
her work, school, life, family, license & studies...
went home after that at about 9+pm...
then helped dad to make wanton... lols...

16th - 23rd Jan 2008, Worst Week Ever...

2009-01-24T23:50:00.006+08:00

Friday 16th Jan - Woke up at 6am, go to school for an hour of lab then when to friend's house to chill...so boring...sms stella all day...went home at 5pm, slept and woke up at 8pm to have dinner. after that i've recevied an anonymous sms. wondering who that was...asked my friend if he gave my number to a girl he knows...after that...dunno why...he started scolding me...wth...with all his accusations and assumptions...pissing me off...even the anonymous person was scold me...damn...wtf i do sia...ended friendship over something so trivial...slept at 3+am cause i accompanied stella through the night as she had assignments to do. so just chat with her all night lols.

Saturday 17th Jan - Woke up at 9am cause my sister woke me up...telling me that our dog died...WTF! zzzz. went down to check on him...he was dead T.T sobx...heartbreaking sia...his body was like...so cold and hard =( it seems like he died at around 4-5am in the morning...damnit...so sad...sister and mom cancelled all appointments...hired a pet taxi...came around 11+am to get our dog to the hospital...when down to stevens road, mount pleasant pet hospital to have my dog cremated T.T so sad...sobx signed papers, while waiting for bus at lucky plaza, received an sms from my "friend" saying that he was sorry about last night. didnt care and went home after that...then went to meet my friend and do some stuffs, smsed stella all day too...today was so sad T.T my best buddy died...thinking of the past...from the day when i first met him, bought him, carried him and bringing him up. sobx those beautiful memories we had is something i'll never forget. he was only 2 months old then. 7 years old when he passed on =( we grew up together...and now, time has taken him away from me...haix *saddened* appreciates those who tried to cheer me up. especially my ke ai, stella and kitty.

Sunday 18th Jan - Stayed at home all day...did nothing...still thinking of my dog and smsing stella. T.T sobx. the past...haix...at night...my ke ai broke off with her bf...zzz she was so sad which somehow made me sad too...i really wish i could cheer her up someway, somehow. haix i feel so useless and helpless. seeing her like this breaks me apart. hope everything will be fine. i'd give anything just to see her smile again.

Monday 19th Jan - Its been awhile since i felt this lonely in school today...haix...heard from my close friend that my ex friend confessed to him about him having problems with me. the worst is that he changed some parts of the story...wth sia zzzz... today in school still have to face him, oh god...so sians. lonely lonely lonely loney ! argh...went home early...smsed stella before and after school. slept late at night and helped ke ai with her soical studies...chat with stella till late too.

Tuesday 20th Jan - Had a lab test for computer programming today...oh my god...it was hell lols
fail ar !!! sianz...so suay also, cause i bumped into my old flame...pff...damn suay...!! haix...stupid sia..still have to face my that "friend" again...zzz once again...another lonely day...smsed stella like always...online till late, ke ai got injured =( sobx...hope she'll be fine...haix hoping she'll take good care of herself. helped her with her principle of accounts also lols. wonder if she understands what i've taught her...hmm.

Wednesday 21st Jan - School starts at 12pm, but i went to school at 11pm, skipped the first lecture to do psychology project cause today was the dateline...haix lols...hmm rushing the project like crazy but i wasnt really doing anything =x my teammates would probably dump all the presentation stuffs on me...like always sigh...lols worst of all...my teammate included 3 useless bumps and my "friend" who quarrelled with me just the other day zzz...torturing sia...facing him...ate lunch then when to school's library to do project...after that...when for psycho lesson at 2pm...in class got no one to talk to except him...so no choice, have to talk to him...sianx...disturbed the teacher in class like always =x LOL oops? haha aiya, she teach until so slow and boring...so sian, we got to compromise to make the class happening...so time would pass faster...teacher so scared of my group...lols dont even dare to ask my group questions...cause we always shoot her back =p ahahaha. did some stupid activity in class...talk back at the teacher =x with logicness of coz xD just to prove that she's wrong haha ! after class ended at 4pm, went to the concourse to rush our project...cause the dateline was 6.30pm on that day sianz then today dunno why...my xingan would contact me, haix, the feeling was so different, i felt so hurt...cut me like a knife, talked to her awhile and i realised she forgot my character...haix maybe it's better that she forgot who i was furthermore she like contact me because the rest was busy or something...after doing the project...went to the printing room to print a soft copy and then pass it up. called the stupid teacher to ask where she was...she said IT block 5 level 1. so we went there...and realise WTF it's all lecture rooms...where got staff rooms...then call her again...now she say block 1 level 5...nvm...we walked there...when we reach...all were classrooms...wtf?? where the hell is that bitch...knn...call her again..now sibei pek cek liao on the phone we like so dulan lols then she say correct somemore...and that the lift was serving blocks 5 and 7...wtf?? our lift was serving blocks 1, 3, 4 and 5...zzz i dulan liao...i walk through level 5...to the other side we realised her staff room was at block 8 ! KNN !! CCB...!! her own staff room also dunno...asshole...confirm purposely want us to pass up late or something cause we always make her pek cek...zzz idiotic teacher...felt like giving her one time to make her see stars!!! after that, played 1 round of dota in school then went home, that's when ke ai got problems again...omg...i felt so sad T.T really felt lost and useless for the first time...argh...couldnt make her happy nor let her know what to do =(. the problem which she faced was exactly the same problem i faced 3 years ago...just that...the roles of the people involved changed...haix...so sad =( made me think of the past...but still i really wanna help my ke ai in any way i can...and make her happy T.T zzz so useless...felt so angry with myself...so i err...whacked the wall...as in punch...and...injured myself...bruised and cut, wall got the blood!!! omg...hope my dad dont see it...if not...there's gonna be hell. hand hurts sooo much...slept super late...=( stupid hand...HOPELESS!!!

Thursday 22nd Jan - School started at 9am...so boring...so we skipped some lessons, self declare school started at 11am LOLS hahas...after that went for maths then skipped another lesson at 12pm, went to Simei ITE to eat lols...crazy...first time been there...felt so weird, all wearing uniform except us. everyone looking at us hahas. eat liao, go back school...haix damn boring sia school today. finished school at 7pm...smsed stella but these days like bo reply le...dunno what happened to her...maybe im too boring bah...haix or maybe she busy if not then maybe her phone bo money T.T feel like we're becoming more distant. haix...everyone like drifting away from me...sobx...slept quite late...

Friday 23rd Jan - School started at 8am...so i had to wake up at 6am. like always, msged stella in the morning...but she replied awhile only...then later like bo reply le =( haix. making me think too much le...went school for an hour because got lab test...omg so hard...everyone like gonna fail sia...zzz i only had like 30/100 sia argh...fail le la!!! knn... finished school at 9am lols...after that when to eat something...that's when i fell sick...fuck sia...abdominal pain...argh so painful...then went home...took bus to bedok interchange...then so painful i thought aiya, take taxi bah, walked to the mrt station but no taxi...queue also so long...ARGH! fuck it la, just walk home...abdominal pain feeling worst...but bobian, just walk...endure...all the way home...zzz so hot somemore...at around 10+am le...sigh...reached home le, online then talked to ke ai...still having stupid abdominal pain. then heard her hp bo money...then my friend also call me ask me go out pei them...okay lor, sick but still i went out...buy top up card for my ke ai then meet my friend, hope she was happy. friends were play pool... i so long bo play le...confirm suck liao lols so i didnt play...was feeling so cold and the stupid pain was killing me...after that when to eat something then go home...was about to meet gzerrel and jason at night then ke ai sms me, telling me she's alone outside! =( argh...wanted to go down to meet her straight away...but something was holding me back...i really wanted to go meet her...but im afraid...if i met her...am i able to keep her entertain...haix...later her second impression of me is worst how...haix i dunno...so i ask her to join me and my friend...T.T but she didnt want to...and she already called someone else to meet her...haix...thought that could be a chance for her to know me better but...things didnt work out...so like that lor...the different side of me she could've seen. but im glad...to be able to hear her voice after such a long time...haix missed it so much...after that jason pang seh us...so we just played music...lols gzerrel played the guitar, while i sang xD woo...then smsed ke ai for awhile until she went to bed. i'd met her, if she wanted me to...if she told me to...haix...angry with myself is all i could do.

12th-15th Jan 2008

2009-01-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

This week was boring
nothing much happened
besides waking up and going school
missing special people, meeting up with friends
and hanging out late
going home late lols.
do stupid stuffs.
13th jan the day i got to know stella =)
hehes
always chat with her hahas.
mua new friend =p
14th jan, kitty became my gan(precious)
know her for quite awhile le lols
hmm for some reason
i somehow click with these two persons lols
conversations are quite interesting :D

11th Jan 2008, Sunday

2009-01-17T22:34:00.002+08:00

Went out to expo to study
studied maths and talked crap at coffee bean
what a boring day...
studied till the night around 7pm
went to subway to eat.
expo was holding their first tattoo convention
and my friend wanted to go but unwilling to spend 18 dollars for the tickets
haha cheapo...
at subway, saw someone removed his tag and left it on the table
woah...still in perfect condition
took the tag and took turns to go in.
eugene couldnt go in cause his hand was too big to wear the tag lols
so me and jeremy took turns to go in
and help eugene take free goodies hahas
after that, went home
then slept quite late...

6th-9th Jan 08

2009-01-09T17:59:00.003+08:00

This week was super boring...
hanging out...going home late
so that i could keep you outta my mind
it's been awhile since i've heard from her
pretending everything was fine
but these four walls close in more everyday
like a clown i put on a show
when i was with my friends
the pain is real even if nobody knows
at times i wonder
why didnt i say the things i needed to say
how could i let my angel get away
now my world is just a tumbling down
i can see it so clearly
but she was nowhere around
i carry a smile even when im broken in two
at night i lie awake even if it's a quarter pass three
screaming at night
as if she'd hear me
how blue can i get
you may ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle, it's been torn all apart
a million words couldnt say just how i feel
a million years from now i hope she know i'll be loving her still
the nights were lonely
the days were sad
and i keep thinking about the love i had for her
im missing, calling, crying, dying inside
but nobody knows it but me...
being a clown, doing stupid stuffs
and talking crap to mask what i really feel on the inside...
nobody knows it but me...
9th jan...i've finally heard from her...
she's stressed out...
i felt the pain
cause she was hurt
i tried to cheer her up...
but i was useless...feeling so helpless...
she likes to keep things from me...
but i cant blame her...
hoping that her problems would be solved, if not go away soon...
im feeling so down...

5th Jan 08, Monday

2009-01-07T00:14:00.004+08:00

uber sleepy today but still...i've got to go to school
sigh...
hoping that my ke ai wont be sent home again because of her coloured hair
and that she would enjoy her day in school...
wanted to send some smses to her
but...i hesitated...
still, in my heart, i prayed for her to be doing fine...
entire day wondering how she was...haix
why am i so troubled...zzz
sucky feeling...
recalled that she had some "meeting"
haix...hope she doesnt go astray...
school was super boring...
time passed extremely slow...
why are you always in my mind
everytime...everywhere...
lecture was cancelled...
so sat down somewhere with naku and bryan to slack
naku told me about weekend stuffs
clubbing and stuffs like that...
about dancing, drinking and girls
lols...
seems kindda cool...i think hahas
grinding and stuffs like that lols
what sort of girls were present
and what happened
hahas so funny...
hmm...after that wanna jio me go club together wor
lols...lets see what happens there
saturday night woots
damn, i cant imagine myself dancing...
hahas
will see how it goes
heard from him that the girls are hot O.O
we'll see about that this saturday
hopefully no one sabo me
keeping my fingers crossed xD
weee

3rd & 4th Jan 08, Weekends

2009-01-07T00:01:00.003+08:00

Had a boring weekend
stayed at home and did nothing
just accompanied my ke ai when she needs someone
played games and chat with her.
she got upset...
because of some issues
sometimes i wish i knew what to say
like how i could few years ago...
giving a very meaningful response to her when she's down
really wonder where did that part of me went...
hopefully i can find the pieces back again...
it hurts each time she's down
but i doubt she knows that
so...ah, what the heck...
doesnt matter anyways...
will there be a day, when you see the real me...
and realise im not that difficult to understand...
hmm...
most people would agree that im hard to understand...
anti-social...keeps things to oneself...different from how i am virtually...
anyways keep my cool...and gives a "creepy" feeling...
lols...
really...amazing...
see through these and you just might understand and see the real me...=)

2nd Jan 08, Friday

2009-01-04T15:29:00.004+08:00

Woke up at 6am
Smsed Ke Ai around 7am
went to school to attend 2 labs
from 8am - 10am
then went to simpang eat prata with jeremy, naku, isaac and hoe kin.
lols whole journey keep bullying isaac and hoe kin
hahas...
hoe kin is so gong, always dont think before he talk
so, always give people opportunity to shoot him lols
naku shoot him about all the racist things
lols super funny...
after that, played lan awhile...
so boring sia...no left 4 dead...damn sad sia
then walked to tanah merah to take bus 12 to downtown east E-Hub
to catch a movie
but the most important thing we went there was because of isaac lols
he wanted to meet a girl he likes who's working there...aww..
lols in the end tio shoot by me and naku LOLS
probably he felt sian and had low-self esteem oops lols
we're so bad, but it was super fun hahas
went to the girl's working place but she wasnt working that day
aww so sad...he was so depressed
lols
rub salt on open wounds =x
wakakaka
then went to coffee bean to slack
talk about alot of stuffs
that hoe kin and jeremy down there playing handphone games wth sia
got so fun meh...=.="
isaac was smsing the girl he likes trying to start a conversation lols
ask all the lame questions =.="
me and naku talk about girls and club lols
cool man...looking forward to go clubbing with him
:D
kekeke
see how happening it will be although the last time i went
it was a freaking letdown
told naku about my ke ai
lols... keep changing topics
so many things to talk about
lols...
after that, sian of coffee bean le then we
went to the arcade to check out the new MT3 DX
lols so different lols
but didnt play
after that they went smoke
then accompany them then watch movie IP man
wah lau always watching the movie i watch before
i so good, watch le still accompany my friends to watch...haix...
me and naku watch le, so we sit beside them and spoil their show LOLS
inside we talk talk talk lols until they buay tahan hahas
naku fights alot, so always have bruise on his hands
then the show also have lols then the IP man's wife help him apply medication
then naku say, "wah...how come no one do that for me..." lols
ke na sai so funny sia...
down there wanna laugh also cannot laugh...
after movie walked to white sands...then they go eat dinner at mac, i go clark quake
to meet my friends at The Central.
kns, ask me go there eat in the end
both of them, joyce and wei ting, eat liao
at TCC...
sian...go there, i only have a glass of ice water lols
too poor to afford =x
talk talk talk lor, catch up about our lives
woah, that's when i realised joyce understood me siol
damn surprising lols 2nd person sia...
after talking took mrt home...
haix...my past came back to haunt me...
went home that's where i quarrelled with my dad...
i was already feeling down liao
so i didnt felt like talking
kenasai, force me to talk...
didnt wanna make him angry...
but at that time...cant control myself...
so damn sad sia...zzz
if only i could make the wrongs, right...
after that, went to bathe and log on msn for awhile
no one online...then i went to bed super early...
dont wanna think about anything
but woke up in the middle of the night...
couldnt sleep after that...
so went up to my rooftop
lie down there
watch the skies
so long havent do this le
until the next morning...

1st Jan 08, Thursday

2009-01-04T15:13:00.002+08:00

Slept at 7am
then ke ai smsed me at around 8+ or 9+ am
sleepyheadedly replied her smses...
asked if i could meet her to pass her the thing i wanted to pass
but...she was gonna meet somebody else as well
so i said another time...
if only she knew what i really meant
or why was that so...
slacked at home doing nothing...
days became longer...
nights became shorter...
haix...
i cant get you out of my mind...

31st Dec 08, Wednesday

2009-01-04T01:31:00.003+08:00

today school started at 9am
sianz...
skipped lecture at 9am to 10am lols
smsed ke ai in class lols...
oops
then school ended at 1pm =)
wee...
went to east point with naku and jeremy
to have our lunch and intro them to daniel and my gay buddy goel
lols hahas
so damn funny...
goel ask me to meet them at burger king
in the end they end up at pet safari wth siol lols
ate at burger king so darn funny
really talk cock siol
me and goel asked my poly friends why they smoke
lols they replied "that's a hard question to answer"
then we ask, "why is that a hard question to answer"
them - "that's a very different question"
us - "in what way is it difficult"
them - "some things are done with a reason"
us - "wrong, some things do not have a reason, like love"
us - "so why you smoke?"
lols super funny
ask until they really cannot answer
them - "because of the people we hang out with"
us - "but you hang out with travis, he's not a smoker , so why you smoke?"
them - "because it's a social activity, being a smoker, you can hang out with both smokers and non-smokers"
us - "wrong, cause everytime you go smoke, you'll pang seh the non-smokers, so isnt that not really a social activity? furthermore, you dont need to smoke to be able to socialise"
LOL
after the smoking "survey" continued eating until jason called
ask us to help him buy cig cause he hospitalised dont have cig with him
then i got goel to answer my phone to talk to him
damn funny...goel talked in a freaking stupid funny voice
bloody hell, jason keep asking us faster and also to buy his cigs lols
them goel told him he'll buy for them the $2.50 roll yourself cig LOLS
damn funny the way he talked super retarded
in the end, we really bought it lols
then hid the real cigs and visited him at changi general hospital(CGH)
went down with him so he could smoke, forced him to roll his own cig
which he does not know how
super uber comical hahas
goel was like "scolding" him lols damn funny
then jason is like super stressed cause he really wanna smoke but he got to roll first and he cant do it hahas...
talked about some stuffs then went home...
talked to my ke ai online...
then did something very nice...
handmade...
wanted to pass it to my ke ai but she could not come out to meet
haix...super depressing...
all the efforts like went down the drain
the feeling was shit man...
today was super depressing...
after what ke ai said also...
parents bbq, so ate that for dinner...
slept in the morning at around 7am bah
cause my friend ask me go lan...
played a new game called left 4 dead
lols quite fun siol =p
today, i've missed the chance of a lifetime
the smell of defeat filled the air
regrets and thoughts filled me
sian...

30th Dec 08, Tuesday

2008-12-31T17:52:00.003+08:00

After school i went to take my basic theory test...
finished the test in 5 mins...
and i passed...yippie...
went home to change then met daniel and my best friend goel at tanah merah
daniel was dressed very nicely, trying to be 18 which he's not
while in the train, we crapped out way to city hall, doing stupid stuffs
and met three of goel's australian friends at city link...
went to eat sakae sushi...for dinner
after that, we went to arab street
along the way, we were making lots of noise
super high
then went sisha
went home around 1am liao
bathed and went to bed...

28th Dec 08, Sunday

2008-12-31T00:48:00.002+08:00

darn...
so god damn boring...
tomorrow start school liao...
haix
cleaned up some stuffs at home
and laze around
talking online
and doing nothing
except thinking and thinking and thinking
one day im gonna have a mental breakdown...
what a day to end the holidays...

27th Dec 08, Saturday

2008-12-30T19:29:00.004+08:00

Reached home at 7am
tried to slept at 7.30am
but could only sleep a few hours only
woke up around 10am
whole day nothing to do
afternoon tried to sleep
but something's preventing me from sleeping
my "bro" from camp called me
wanna go out
went out in the night around 10pm
was talking to ke ai before that
my bro, jason, met him at tanah merah mrt station
went to cine to watch movies
along the way, he told me about camp stuffs
naku was suppose to meet us too
but then some stuffs cropped up so he said he'll meet us later
ate long john silvers cause i didnt eat for the entire day
watched bedtime stories and YES MAN AGAIN...
damn...bedtime stories was a letdown...
just before the movies, we talked about life
and relationships
during the Yes man show, everyone was laughing...
jason keep pestering me, asking what happened next...
sianzz...
while sitting in the cinema, i was not paying attention to the show
cause i watched it before, i was wishing someone was by my side
and i dunno why...
watch the same movie at the same place with her not long ago...
was missing the way she laughed, her smile and voice...
her face and her starlight eyes...
although each time i looked, i made sure she wasnt looking back
cause i like to look into people's eyes when they do not realise
after movie...sat down while my bro was smoking
then naku pang seh us...
sian...
talked to my bro about life, girls, relationships and problems
so many things happened...
haix
waited for the first bus then i saw a crow(bird) attacking people at town siol
so funny lols
took the first bus home...at 630am
was feeling super cold...
caught a freaking cold in the bus...wth...
reached home, bathed and slept for 5 hours
so damn tired...
whole day missing my ke ai
sian...life's so meaningless...

26th Dec 08, Friday

2008-12-30T01:04:00.005+08:00

Depressing day...
lots of thoughts filled my mind...
haix...couldnt sleep in the afternoon
cause i was thinking of somebody
worst thing is that, there wasnt anything to do
went out at night with my friend naku.
supposingly eugene was suppose to come too
but ended up, he was sleeping at home...
while waiting for him...
we went to a nearby pub near orchard plaza around plaza sing
ordered some finger food and a jug of beer
drank for an hour
naku said there was a nearby lan shop
and ask me to aim the turbans and look straight
damn bastard sia lols...
cause got two guys wearing turbans
and the lan shop was in the building next to them...
after drinking, felt alittle high
cause we drank quite fast lols
while walking to the toilet
dont know why, my friend nearly walked into the female's toilet
lols so damn funny...
still can tell me i didnt see anything
im high but im not drunk la please =.=" lols
so pai sei sia he lols
after that we went to The Cathay
and watched Ip Man & Twilight
one shot...lols crazy siol
after watching damn shag already
it was like 5am.
then sat outside The Cathay
doing nothing...so bored
then prank called some of our friends using loud speaker LOLS
asking them to tell us if they were still sleeping and what were they dreaming about
hahas...after that, we told them the reason we called them
and it was...because we wanted to ask them wake up to go toilet
lols...so damn funny...
after that, eugene came down, then we went to eat breakfast
talk awhile
then cab-ed home in the morning lols.

25th Dec 08, Thursday - Christmas Day

2008-12-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

Christmas...
hmm...woke up super early
went out with parents and cousin to eat breakfast
then parents sent us to bedok mrt station.
sleepyheadedly went to tampinese mall
buy my cousins' presents
damn...feel so broke...
feel so tired...
scare my cousin...LOLS !
stalked her from behind when she least expected =x
then burged pass her and "shouted" excuse me hahas...
oops =p
too sleepy liao...nothing better to do xD
bought everything went home by cab
cause i wasnt feeling well...zzzz
caught a damn cold and was feeling super weird...
hahas cause yesterday got caught in the pouring rain lols
celebrated christmas with family
had pizza for dinner
played some crazy games
everyone looked retarded =x
opened presents, ate log cake
pretty insane...
dad bought me a hamburger speaker LOLS
not bad wor, super loud though it's small lols
mom bought me clothes from esprit wor...
that was like my ke ai's favourite brand...
was shocked though...cause monday bought ke ai something from my favourite shop also O.O
hmm then...talked to my ke ai online...
sian first time i could not talkback verbally...
zzz...
first girl out-talked me...jialat...
then later...quarrelled awhile...
sorry...i didnt mean it...
if only you knew...
ke ai forced wo sleep early =(
at 12am somemore...which i usually sleep super late and normally later than those who ask me to sleep earlier...
that's christmas...boring, lonely and saddy...haix

24th Dec 08, Wednesday - Christmas Eve

2008-12-26T00:06:00.003+08:00

Chat with ke ai in the morning
she said two guys are courting her
that's when some weird feelings occured
well...what could i do...
nothing...it's not up to me
it's her decision...
went to cut my hair short at parkway...
was pouring outside but i had to get some stuffs outside
no choice, just walk in the rain...
stupid traffic light...went against me...
what to do...just stand in the rain...
shivering cold...rained from the previous night till this afternoon
and it's still going on.
hoping the rain could wash this pain away...
sometimes it hurts so much but i cant do shit about it...
but just to bottle it up inside..
if it could rain every single day, i would love to walk in it.
though i said how i've felt but she does not feel the same...
some things cant be force...just hope she's happy for always...
and if she needs someone, i want to be the first to be there...
and i'll always be there for her no matter what
reality check, i know i'll never be good enough for her
im totally out of her league...
but come whatever may...
*im standing my ground
i'll face my greatest fears...
even if im gonna stand broken..
this time i'll grit my teeth
and ride this one out..
i know someday...somehow
people would understand...
till that day...even if im here or gone
it's an achivement...
something which i put my heart to it...
never do something you'll regret...*
back to the happenings...
was totally wet from head to toe after i went back into the mall
was super cold...shivering
but still i had to get things done
fingers were like popsicles
frozen...
bought so many presents
exhaustedly went back home...
and slept at 2.30am...
she's been in my mind consistently throughout the day..
wondering how she was...
was her day today alright...
as i tugged myself into bed...
she was the last thing on my mind
before i went to sleep each night...

22nd Dec 08, Monday

2008-12-23T00:56:00.004+08:00

When down to plaza sing to meet ke ai at 1.30pm
walked a few rounds up and down couldnt find her at the arcade...
until i realised she was just infront of me lols...
weird...
maybe i was blind...
anyways...wow...ke ai really ke ai wor
lols...
played a few racing games cause her gan asked me to
seriously...those games we played, i dunno how to play de
never play before nia...lol...but you all say until i machum like pro like that =.="
just remained quiet like always =)
after that, went to cine to watch movie
on the way there...got mislead by her gan lol
alighted at the wrong station...hahas..
from orchard walked to cine
then tickets at 3.15pm was sold out
boy boy got to go home...sent him off at the mrt
so left me and ke ai...bought tickets for 5.20pm
walked up and down almost every shopping center also walked le
we were talking while walking
didnt know ke ai's life story is that interesting wor...
lols
watched movie "Yes, Man"
was so funny, see ke ai laugh also so unique =p
hahas...then err...walked around again to find ke ai a jacket
from hereen walked to paragon then to tangs then to shaw house then to wheelock place
then, just beside wheelock place the esprit then to zara then finally bought her jacket wor
it's not table cloth btw ! lols
say until i like salesman...bleahx...
im not lols...
after that...sent ke ai home then rotted home
what a long trip...
so tired but not sleeping yet...lols
you've seen the unreal side of me =) lols...
oops =x

19th Dec 2008, Friday

2008-12-19T23:44:00.005+08:00

Cheryl is officially my gan =p
woots
dont know how, dont know why
it just happened
thx for being there for me when i needed someone
i'll cherish and treasure you
i'll care, dote and adore you =)
~Ke Ai~ gan xD

Chapter 2 - Potato Meets Tomato

2008-12-03T21:52:00.002+08:00

He was almost about to lose his faith
Was still dreaming but feared it was too late
But then she came along to his surprise
And stole his heart before his very eyes
She took him right out of the blue
Simply by showing that she loves him too
Only by giving him her everything
With a love so true, she took him out of the blue
He was wondering what love was all about
He was trying but couldn’t work it out
But then she came along to his surprise
And made his frozen mind come alive
She let him out of the darkness
She brought him out in the sun
She must be the only one for him
Cos she breathe air below his wings
She took him right out of the night
Simply by filling his heart with light
Only by giving him her energy
With a love so true

4th Day Without You

2008-12-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

Come closer now
Let me feel your heartbeat
Just stay here forever
Sometimes I wonder
Is this real or am I
Only waiting to wake up
Right before my eyes
I see your face
And it makes me smile
I want you to stay
I feel like I'm lost without you
And life just can't be the same
Took my breath away
I felt like I just lost you
Right before my eyes
For the first time
I can say forever
I don't feel alone then
And there were times when
I let you down
But I will always be there
All the times I felt alone
Cause I've been wrong
Until now my life has felt so long

3rd Day Without You

2008-12-02T17:41:00.003+08:00

When i close my eyes
all i think about is you
i cant stop myself
from dreaming all day
and i
i've been trying to tell you
how i feel
try to make you understand
that i really wanna be by your side
i remember when i held your hands tight
when you laugh, i cant sleep at night
those glitters in your eyes
but you want to be alone
you chose to be alone than to be with me

Loneliness Befalls

2008-11-26T00:18:00.002+08:00

Inner Demons Crawling
As The Rain Is Falling
You Left In The Pouring Rain
Hoping To Catch The Last Train
Slamming The Front Door Wide Open
Forsakening Me Behind, Broken
Locked Up Within For Walls
Waiting To Hear You Call
Loneliness Is All There Was
Loneliness Befalls
Somehow It Felt Like You're Never Coming Back
Perhaps That's Why You Packed
Leaving Me A Plush In These Two Hands
Just Something To Keep Me Company For These Two Days
Was This The Price I Need To Pay
As Images In My Mind Began To Play
When I Looked Deep Into The Eyes Of The Plush
I Missed You Are The Words Unsent
Thoughts Of You Are All That's Present

Nothing To Lose

2008-10-24T17:59:00.001+08:00

There are times when you make me laugh
there are moments when you drive me mad
there are seconds when I see the light
though many times you made me cry
There are times when I believe in you
these moments when I feel close to you
there are times I think that I am yours
though many times I feel unsure
Nothing to lose
your love to win
hoping so bad that you'll let me in
waiting for you
I've got time and nothing to lose

Chapter 1 - Introduction

2008-10-08T02:58:00.006+08:00

There once lived a potato
A saddy potato
whom no one really understands
Or know what he's really thinking
He never really wanted anything
Except for those people he really cares for are happy
Days werent as easy as it seems
Trying so hard but still not moving on
He's unwanted, un-needed, unloved and unmissed
Lost faith on everything
No longer able to be expressive
keep everything to himself
A colourless life

Monday, 29th Sept 08

2008-10-03T17:11:00.003+08:00

Had to go class chalet today...
zzz...dont feel like going...
but in the end also went...
most boring chalet i've ever been to...
we did nothing...but just play cards
talk and drink alcohol...
zzz...
one of my classmate drank alittle too much...
became high...while being high, he's gay
going around molesting guys...wth...
i didnt drank much...just enough for my head to feel light...lols
lie on the bed...and think about so many things...
so many smokers...sian...
the whole chalet unit is filled with smoke...
one girl...crazy le...drink the vodka like water...
somemore without mixer
confirm got some personal problems...
after that...vomitted everything...
make the whole chalet dirty...
luckily not i clean...
if not i'll be damn pissed off
friends carried her to the bedroom and let her sleep...
left a pail for her to vomit lols...
then... we sat in the room and talk...
talk throughout the night lols...
so boring de...nothing to do...

Sunday, 28th Sept 08

2008-09-30T17:16:00.003+08:00

The time has come
for me to grow alittle older
and it seems i've grown colder
at the same time...
it was my birthday...
too many things have happened
turning happy birthday to saddy birthday
18th birthday...wow...
something big...
but...only a handful of my friends actually remembered...
and people expects me to cheer up...
ironic...
drinking session is the only event today
get high, tipsy, wasted and stayed up all night...
thinking...daydreaming...staring into blank space...
watch those stars up there in the valet sky...
wondering if things would change for the better...
*drowning my sorrows*
- Cheers ! -
thx to those who remembered...
appreciate it...

22nd - 27th Sept 08

2008-09-30T17:00:00.003+08:00

This week seems to be one of the worst week i've ever had
everything seems to have gone wrong somewhere, somehow
history has repeated itself
and it's always close to my birthday...
is this a curse...i wish i had an answer
my mind's filled with questions without answers...
what a sad week...
wishing someone out there really understands me...
someone who understands my intentions...
this whole month was all about planning
planning a surprise and memorable thing...
for someone...but unfortunately
i've lost to time...
i guess...i could only blame myself
now...i'll have to grit my teeth and watch it falls apart...
all the effort and time spent to make something perfect...
*poof* just went down the drain
these feelings and pain...
it's so frustrating...
hate it so much...
there's nothing left for me to do
felt like i was losing my mind...
and im sure i did...
apologies is all that i could deliever...
sorry...

Monday, 21st Sept 08

2008-09-25T12:46:00.002+08:00

Damn...my buddy got his posting already...
he got posted to jurong there siol...
so far...
lol...tio rifleman...ahahaha
good luck...
this morning he have to report at the camp at 6am sia...
wonder what time does he need to wake up and get ready...
4am ? lols...suay...
hopefully 1 and a half more years would pass by fast

Sunday, 20th Sept 08

2008-09-25T12:42:00.001+08:00

Jeremiah's Birthday...
woots...long time never see him le...
hmm...wondering how's he doing...
secondary school buddy...
happy birthday dude...
all the best...

Monday, 15th Sept 08

2008-09-25T12:37:00.002+08:00

Today nothing to do
so went to play lan with my buddy
sian...play long liao also boring
after that stop by his house for dinner
bbq again...so many food left from the previous bbq
jialat...only 6 of us and we have to finish it...
bbq until 12.30am lols...

Sunday, 14th Sept 08

2008-09-18T02:24:00.002+08:00

Awww...my buddy's com crashed...
so...he got to fix it...lols...
today, brought his bloody heavy piece of metal(CPU) to sim lim square
crazy sia...so bloody heavy...dunno what he put inside...
time's running out, sim lim square the shops closes early
so we took a cab down
in the cab, we were talking about families...lols
what a lame topic
reach there...search high and low for the shop he's looking for...
kenasai, carry the heavy cpu around like a clown...
went to the infomation counter nabei, we ask the lady where's the shop bliss she hear until police...
wtf...ask the security guard so much better...
walking around in circles...the stupid shop number not in sequence de...
reach there...i bought my buddy his birthday present, Mircosoft Reclusa, gaming keyboard
woo...quite expensive sia...but nevermind la...since he's my best buddy
then walk around comparing prices and asking which brand better
after buying the stupid keyboard, we went to buy razor mouse for my other friend...
he heartbroken sia...how sad...but what to do, always never learn his lessons
dont wanna take our advice...twit...
then...another present again...for my secondary school bro, jeremiah...
bought a computer game for him...lols...hope he likes it...
wah...today spend so much sia....
i feel so broke T.T sian...bo money...sian...
today is one hell of a shopping spree...shop until my pocket got big hole...
zzz...but anyways...hope they like it :D happy birthday pals...!

Saturday, 13th Sept 08

2008-09-15T00:58:00.008+08:00

Woohoo
best gay buddy birthday party is here
although he's birthday was one 11th sept
but still...woo...time for the alcohol to get out of it's cages
bbq at his place, so many unfamiliar faces
so, i stick to my own group
was damn bored at first
didnt ate much
talk alot of craps
disturb the birthday boy by shouting botak whenever he walks pass
haha, make him dulan =x
disturb one another like some crazy lame ass
just the three of us, we made a whole lot of noise lols
after that, when shop and save, bought 7up for vodka
was finding high and low for some weird new band lemon drink
but couldnt find, heard that that was the best mixer lols
when everyone left,
my gay buddy, one heartbroken sissy...oops i mean guy and another gaming freak
first we talked about our lives and problems
got to cheer up that heartbroken sissy lols
he got dumped...so sad...we had to crack our brains and find a way for him to patch back
all the best for him
after that, we went crazy playing drinking games, loser drink LOL
so damn funny
all the stupid stupid funny actions made us laugh non-stop
played another game called big potato and small potato
ahahaha so damn funny...play until we all start laughing like crazy
laugh till we have stomach cramps
play until we start dancing LOL ahaha
so damn funny, all the actions and emotions was priceless
look at my three friends all face so red really like tomato
play from english version change to chinese change to hokkien lol...
so damn confusing
make the person stun and lag lol with the shock face written "wtf is that" was so funny
we laughed so loudly until the security guard came to kajiao us
call us to keep our voices down
cant he see we're freaking drunk lol
here's the best part, we stripped and jump into the pool after drinking LOL
water was freezing cold haha
chased one another in the pool LOL ! do all sorts of stupid things
then walked home in the middle of the night
so darn quiet siol...creepy...
got to walk pass a graveyard somemore...haha!
go home...drunk liao, still can use the computer for quiet awhile haha siao liao
what a day...it was awesome =x

25th June - 20th July 2008

2008-08-01T19:57:00.007+08:00

Ahahaha...

forgot about the events that took place except some...

so...no choice but to collaborate them...

yup...so...everyday i've been skipping lectures...

oops...haha

failed maths quiz and test...zzz

everyday slack and slack and slack and slack...

friend's birthday as well...damn...feeling so damn broke...

birthdays causes an unavoidable headache everytime...

Tuesday, 24th June 2008

2008-07-30T21:28:00.002+08:00

Today's first lesson was eng drawing
for the first time ever, i found it interesting
drawing using the computer
so much better than manuel drawing.
but my teacher still sucks.
such a pervert. lol
flirts with the girls in class.
if you experience it first hand, you probably get what i mean.
lecture was crap
practically not listening in class
talk cock for the entire lesson haha
then after break was err...maths...
damn, collect back results
i was screwed...
i failed the test as expected
but i failed badly damnit.
saddened for the entire day... T.T
for the rest of the day, it was shit...

Monday, 23rd June 2008

2008-07-01T22:15:00.007+08:00

Ah ha ! 1st day of school after the june holidays

it's time to receive our exams results...

Eng Drawing, E Maths, DFund and CKT

have a bad...feeeeeling...about this...

damn...i think im not gonna make it...

even if i do, it ain't gonna be good enough...

feeling so distracted in school today and i don't know why...

Today, there isn's any tutorial classes...so...no test papers are given back...

school's so boring as usual...

when lectures talk, their words can make you feel drowsy...

oh god, for the firsrt time ever...i feel that i'm gonna fail...

during the exam, i couldn't finish the maths paper...zzz

20 marks gone...just like that...

and this happened for the first time in my life...

geez...can this get any better ?

Sunday, 22nd June 2008

2008-06-29T01:31:00.004+08:00

Once again...
yet another boring day for me...
boredom seems to haunt me every day...

seems like my computer's getting sick as well...
problems are arising on my computer...
thinking of ways to salvage it haha...
unfortunately...i could not find any remedies for it...

spent the day with my dad...
cycling at east coast park from one end to the other...
but as the sea breeze blew pass me, my mind seems to be drifting away
pratically, i did nothing for the whole day...
just letting time pass me by...
school's starting tomorrow, sheesh...it's gonna get much more boring soon...
and my buddy is going back to camp today...

loneliness caught up with me again...

Saturday, 21st June 2008

2008-06-29T01:23:00.005+08:00

Another boring day being cooped at home.
no appointments at all...
well i guess it's because of the limited friends i have...
just hoping that time passes me by
every graduation leaves me losing some friends
well, it's something i knew i cant avoid...
nothing uncommon as it has happened throughout my life
after every single graduation...

sigh...things aint what i expected it to be...
life is so unpredictable i guess...
my buddy...my one and only buddy...that's all i have
hang out with him as he seems to be deprived from computer games haha.
so...me being bored...just accompanied him...
still feeling bored
but at least i've something to do...
pratically the same routine
knocked out again after reaching home...

Friday, 20th June 2008

2008-06-28T10:09:00.005+08:00

Today's the day
the day my buddy checks out from camp.
it's been a week since he went for NS.
haha, imaginating how would he look being botak !
unimaginable...
hopefully he lost some weight since he always wanted to do that

met him during the night at simpang bedok.
played lan with him throughout the night as he missed playing...
so, i accompanied him...
not bad...at least i improved haha, not as blur as last time...
win a couple of rounds and lost some
well...after awhile, it makes me really bored
but since i had nothing to do, so i just played along with him
kindda tired and i missed the euro quarter finals...damnit...

walked home at around 5am
woah...it's like so darn quiet...
walked pass a cemetery...
so freakishly creepy but no choice...
knock out on my bed after bathing...
what a boring day....

Thursday, 19th June 2008

2008-06-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

Was really exhasted today.
feeling so damn shag because i've been sleeping very late at night ever since my holidays started.

the days before 19th of june 08,
really did nothing productive or intensive.
just laze around at home doing nothing
ever since my "bro", gzerrel went to army for NS.
it was crap man...
lonely throughout the days...

alright enough about that, back to 19th june.
hmm...it's been a week since her birthday had past which was on 11th june.
i woke up because she sent me a message.
was surprised that she messaged me.
it's been quite a while since she talked to me.
kindda having a mixture of different kinds of feelings at that point of time.
was wondering how she would know i sent her that gift...
anyways, she said thanks for the gift and that she liked it.
well...was really glad to hear that...
but just when i thought what i should reply
words filled my head but...i know...i should not say much...
so i just send my regards to her thats all.
after that...everything was back to what i've been doing over the days...
pratically nothing...boredom caught up with me once again...

Thursday, 12th June 2008

2008-06-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today's the BIG day.
class bbq.
gosh...
me being the one who organised this
woah...i realised it's not an easy task.
lots of pressure and stress though it may seem easy.

thanks to a couple of my friends who helped out.
really appreciate their endless effort in making this work.
it might not be flawless for others but it was to me.

everything went well but there wasnt much things to do...
so kindda got to improve it
no idea why my friend fell sick during the event.
the food was appetizing. looks really great.
taste as good as it looks that's all i could say.

i cycled all the way there from home...
it was so tiring cause i was carring a huge and heavy bag.
but it was worth it.
spent the whole day at east coast park
and soon we crush macdonald's
to catch euro 08 germany vs croatia
just to be disappointed at their 2-1 loss to them.
everyone went home.
two crazy dude were drunk and getting high...
and i cycle my way home at 3am.
gosh...
hopefully the next time i organise such thing would be better. =D

Wednesday, 11th June 2008

2008-06-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

Today, a very special day indeed.
the birthday of a special someone of mine.
however, lots of things had changed over time.
like they say, "so close but yet so far", for this phrase, i cant agree more.

just rotting at home with nothing to do.
send a small birthday gift to her.
well...hopefully it reaches her safely
hopefully she would like it.
not a big or an expensive thing
just a spongebob mug which she adores.
and i bought that from overseas.

anyways...wrapped the gift with a birthday card
and woosh, i've send it through mail.
a birthday gift without the sender's infomation at all.
knowing that she doesnt like me anymore, so what's the point of letting her know who sent this .
as long as she likes it, that's enough.

hmm a boring day indeed.
just laze around, staring at stuffs...thinking of the past...yep...thats all...
darn...what a lonely day...