Friday 16th Jan - Woke up at 6am, go to school for an hour of lab then when to friend's house to chill...so boring...sms stella all day...went home at 5pm, slept and woke up at 8pm to have dinner. after that i've recevied an anonymous sms. wondering who that was...asked my friend if he gave my number to a girl he knows...after that...dunno why...he started scolding me...wth...with all his accusations and assumptions...pissing me off...even the anonymous person was scold me...damn...wtf i do sia...ended friendship over something so trivial...slept at 3+am cause i accompanied stella through the night as she had assignments to do. so just chat with her all night lols.


Saturday 17th Jan - Woke up at 9am cause my sister woke me up...telling me that our dog died...WTF! zzzz. went down to check on him...he was dead T.T sobx...heartbreaking sia...his body was like...so cold and hard =( it seems like he died at around 4-5am in the morning...damnit...so sad...sister and mom cancelled all appointments...hired a pet taxi...came around 11+am to get our dog to the hospital...when down to stevens road, mount pleasant pet hospital to have my dog cremated T.T so sad...sobx signed papers, while waiting for bus at lucky plaza, received an sms from my "friend" saying that he was sorry about last night. didnt care and went home after that...then went to meet my friend and do some stuffs, smsed stella all day too...today was so sad T.T my best buddy died...thinking of the past...from the day when i first met him, bought him, carried him and bringing him up. sobx those beautiful memories we had is something i'll never forget. he was only 2 months old then. 7 years old when he passed on =( we grew up together...and now, time has taken him away from me...haix *saddened* appreciates those who tried to cheer me up. especially my ke ai, stella and kitty.


Sunday 18th Jan - Stayed at home all day...did nothing...still thinking of my dog and smsing stella. T.T sobx. the past...haix...at night...my ke ai broke off with her bf...zzz she was so sad which somehow made me sad too...i really wish i could cheer her up someway, somehow. haix i feel so useless and helpless. seeing her like this breaks me apart. hope everything will be fine. i'd give anything just to see her smile again.


Monday 19th Jan - Its been awhile since i felt this lonely in school today...haix...heard from my close friend that my ex friend confessed to him about him having problems with me. the worst is that he changed some parts of the story...wth sia zzzz... today in school still have to face him, oh god...so sians. lonely lonely lonely loney ! argh...went home early...smsed stella before and after school. slept late at night and helped ke ai with her soical studies...chat with stella till late too.


Tuesday 20th Jan - Had a lab test for computer programming today...oh my god...it was hell lols
fail ar !!! sianz...so suay also, cause i bumped into my old flame...pff...damn suay...!! haix...stupid sia..still have to face my that "friend" again...zzz once again...another lonely day...smsed stella like always...online till late, ke ai got injured =( sobx...hope she'll be fine...haix hoping she'll take good care of herself. helped her with her principle of accounts also lols. wonder if she understands what i've taught her...hmm.


Wednesday 21st Jan - School starts at 12pm, but i went to school at 11pm, skipped the first lecture to do psychology project cause today was the dateline...haix lols...hmm rushing the project like crazy but i wasnt really doing anything =x my teammates would probably dump all the presentation stuffs on me...like always sigh...lols worst of all...my teammate included 3 useless bumps and my "friend" who quarrelled with me just the other day zzz...torturing sia...facing him...ate lunch then when to school's library to do project...after that...when for psycho lesson at 2pm...in class got no one to talk to except him...so no choice, have to talk to him...sianx...disturbed the teacher in class like always =x LOL oops? haha aiya, she teach until so slow and boring...so sian, we got to compromise to make the class happening...so time would pass faster...teacher so scared of my group...lols dont even dare to ask my group questions...cause we always shoot her back =p ahahaha. did some stupid activity in class...talk back at the teacher =x with logicness of coz xD just to prove that she's wrong haha ! after class ended at 4pm, went to the concourse to rush our project...cause the dateline was 6.30pm on that day sianz then today dunno why...my xingan would contact me, haix, the feeling was so different, i felt so hurt...cut me like a knife, talked to her awhile and i realised she forgot my character...haix maybe it's better that she forgot who i was furthermore she like contact me because the rest was busy or something...after doing the project...went to the printing room to print a soft copy and then pass it up. called the stupid teacher to ask where she was...she said IT block 5 level 1. so we went there...and realise WTF it's all lecture rooms...where got staff rooms...then call her again...now she say block 1 level 5...nvm...we walked there...when we reach...all were classrooms...wtf?? where the hell is that bitch...knn...call her again..now sibei pek cek liao on the phone we like so dulan lols then she say correct somemore...and that the lift was serving blocks 5 and 7...wtf?? our lift was serving blocks 1, 3, 4 and 5...zzz i dulan liao...i walk through level 5...to the other side we realised her staff room was at block 8 ! KNN !! CCB...!! her own staff room also dunno...asshole...confirm purposely want us to pass up late or something cause we always make her pek cek...zzz idiotic teacher...felt like giving her one time to make her see stars!!! after that, played 1 round of dota in school then went home, that's when ke ai got problems again...omg...i felt so sad T.T really felt lost and useless for the first time...argh...couldnt make her happy nor let her know what to do =(. the problem which she faced was exactly the same problem i faced 3 years ago...just that...the roles of the people involved changed...haix...so sad =( made me think of the past...but still i really wanna help my ke ai in any way i can...and make her happy T.T zzz so useless...felt so angry with myself...so i err...whacked the wall...as in punch...and...injured myself...bruised and cut, wall got the blood!!! omg...hope my dad dont see it...if not...there's gonna be hell. hand hurts sooo much...slept super late...=( stupid hand...HOPELESS!!!

Thursday 22nd Jan - School started at 9am...so boring...so we skipped some lessons, self declare school started at 11am LOLS hahas...after that went for maths then skipped another lesson at 12pm, went to Simei ITE to eat lols...crazy...first time been there...felt so weird, all wearing uniform except us. everyone looking at us hahas. eat liao, go back school...haix damn boring sia school today. finished school at 7pm...smsed stella but these days like bo reply le...dunno what happened to her...maybe im too boring bah...haix or maybe she busy if not then maybe her phone bo money T.T feel like we're becoming more distant. haix...everyone like drifting away from me...sobx...slept quite late...

Friday 23rd Jan - School started at 8am...so i had to wake up at 6am. like always, msged stella in the morning...but she replied awhile only...then later like bo reply le =( haix. making me think too much le...went school for an hour because got lab test...omg so hard...everyone like gonna fail sia...zzz i only had like 30/100 sia argh...fail le la!!! knn... finished school at 9am lols...after that when to eat something...that's when i fell sick...fuck sia...abdominal pain...argh so painful...then went home...took bus to bedok interchange...then so painful i thought aiya, take taxi bah, walked to the mrt station but no taxi...queue also so long...ARGH! fuck it la, just walk home...abdominal pain feeling worst...but bobian, just walk...endure...all the way home...zzz so hot somemore...at around 10+am le...sigh...reached home le, online then talked to ke ai...still having stupid abdominal pain. then heard her hp bo money...then my friend also call me ask me go out pei them...okay lor, sick but still i went out...buy top up card for my ke ai then meet my friend, hope she was happy. friends were play pool... i so long bo play le...confirm suck liao lols so i didnt play...was feeling so cold and the stupid pain was killing me...after that when to eat something then go home...was about to meet gzerrel and jason at night then ke ai sms me, telling me she's alone outside! =( argh...wanted to go down to meet her straight away...but something was holding me back...i really wanted to go meet her...but im afraid...if i met her...am i able to keep her entertain...haix...later her second impression of me is worst how...haix i dunno...so i ask her to join me and my friend...T.T but she didnt want to...and she already called someone else to meet her...haix...thought that could be a chance for her to know me better but...things didnt work out...so like that lor...the different side of me she could've seen. but im glad...to be able to hear her voice after such a long time...haix missed it so much...after that jason pang seh us...so we just played music...lols gzerrel played the guitar, while i sang xD woo...then smsed ke ai for awhile until she went to bed. i'd met her, if she wanted me to...if she told me to...haix...angry with myself is all i could do.

Travis, Eighteen
Something has been taken from deep inside of me.
A secret kept locked away no one can ever see.
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away.
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played.
Sometimes i remember the darkness of my past.
Brining back these memories i wish i didn't have.
Sometimes i think of letting go and never looking back.
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past.
All of the helplessness inside.
Pretending i don't feel misplaced.
Replacing this pain with something numb.
Facing all this pain here all alone.
If i could change, i would.
Take back the pain, i would.
Retrace every wrong move that i made, i would.
If i could stand up and take the blame, i would.
If i could take all the shame to the grave, i would.


The feeling of helplessness from my pasts.
And the things i've gone through once.
Are the things i'll never want my close ones to go through.
That's why i'm always trying to help my friends.
Mostly through their times of needs.
My actions do not have to be remembered by them.
Cause i'll be happy to see them able to move on.
It's natural for one to leave for the better.
Im just a friend's support.
That's all i want to be.
Noble or whatever nice words one can think of.
I dont wish to be classified as one.
Cause i dont wish to be remembered.
Picking them up from their darkest moments.
It's okay even if my intentions are stained.
Or if it's unappreciated.
What matters most is for each and every one of them to be happy.
When they no longer need me.
That's when i'll be gone.
After they leave.


★Sofu - Darling | My Darling.
★Cheryl Wong - Gan Ke Ai | The One I Care For Most
★Gzerrel Lee - My Best Friend(Gay Buddy) | Understands Me The Most. Knows Me From Inside Out.
★Stella Lew - Close Friend | Cares For Me Alot.
★Kitty - Gan Precious | Cares For Me Alot.
★Chanelle - Bah Kua | My Entertaining Bak Kwa Friend.
★Xu Qing - Friend | Cares For Me Alot. Always Calls Me BoyBoy...
★Jason Lim - Close Friend | Shares Experience With Me.
★Joyce Lim - Quite Close Friend | Shares The Same Past And Mindset.
★Sherylene Suen - Gan Nu Er | Shares Stories.
★Kifer Lau - Gan Nu Er | Shares Stories.
★Rusky Wong - My Good Doggie Boi | Rest In Peace.


Ah Boon
Donavan
Nakulesh
Shaun Chan
Jeremiah Neo
Cherine Fong
Amanda Tan
Isaac Sim
Jeremy Liu
Eugene Foo
Louis Tan
Daniel Tan
Qing Gui
Por Weiting
Kia Heng
Brian
Chris Ng




XiaoDai(Ke Ai)
Kitty(Precious)
ChoyYih(Nu Er)
Liping(Nu Er)
Chanelle(Bak Kwa)
Amanda(XinGan)
Isaac(Smurf)
Jacq
Alexis
Veron
Kimmi
Sam
CookieMonster


June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009


Isabel
Amanda
Cheryl
★Sofu


This Fucking Thing Is All Personality!
I Think Rock And Roll Is Really Funny When It's Serious.
Dont Hate Me Cause I Pretend To Be Happy.
Dont Hate Me Cause Im Miserable.
Dont Hate Me If I Make You Smile,
Or If I Go The Extra Mile To Make You Feel Better On A Really Shitty Day.
And If You're Hearing What Im Saying,
Then I Want You To Say, "Im Gay!" Say, "Im Gay!"
Put Your Left Hand Over Your Heart And Repeat After Me.
It's Perfectly Fine To Be A Happy Individual.
Isnt That Nice? Very Nice.
That's Right Ladies And Gentleman!
Pick Up The Phone. Cause Travis Is On The Line.
And You Dont Have To Be Sad Anymore.
We Can All Join Hands And Do Ring Around.
In Fact, Can We Get Some LA LAs Up In Here?!
Yo!, Where My LA LAs At??! La La-La La, La-La La-La La La La La





Acoustic Guitar
Variax Microphone
New Dog
Lip Piercing
Car License
A Car
My Own Band
New Watch
New Shoes
New Shorts
New Hoodies
New Sunglasses
New Specs
New Hairstyle
New Bag
Highlight Hair
Contact Lens
Sony Bravia Tv
5.1 Stereo/Home-Theatre System
Renovated Room
Self-Composed Songs
Holiday With My Friends
Learn Snowboarding Tricks
Learn Surfing
Cheryl...(I'll Never Be Able To Have You.)


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